As Marie says below our sister Chris left us... left us broken hearted. People talk about bereavement, but that to me is just a word right now....my 'bereavement' is to be broken hearted at the loss of my little sister.
Yep I'm the 'big brother' of the bunch, and Chris was my little sister.
The day after she passed on I was sitting here feeling a whole mixture of emotions.... unspeakably sad, lost, angry, not believing that my little sis had passed on.
Thinking of our childhood in particular I remembered all of the family as we were before we went our separate ways as the kids of all families do eventually. And I remembered Chris and her place in the family as a daughter to our parents, and a sister to the rest of us. And my thoughts were in the main filled with happy memories. One I remembered was when we sat playing cards at home and when Chris lost she kicked up holy murder... oh she hated to lose at playing cards. I remembered the chicken I brought home after the crate it was in with it's brothers and sisters fell off a truck and I helped the driver round them up -- all except one which I brought home. Okay so I'm a chicken thief! But this is not about me so lets move on a bit. That fluffy little chicken grew up to be a big cockerel which seemed to take a dislike to poor Chris. One day Chris went out to the back garden and the fowl committed a foul deed... it attacked Chris. If Ma and Da hadn't been there Chris might have been injured.... though knowing Chris perhaps the cockerel might have came off worse in that contest. The cockerel disappeared next day and I never saw Dad looking so innocent... could he have committed a foul deed? Nah, not Dad.
I remember how Ma used to make sure the girls didn't go out unless they were spick and span.... and Chris took a lot of pride in the huge ribbons Ma used to put in her hair.
And I remember other times too.... times when I thought my sisters were going to slaughter each other over a cardigan or something that one had accused of swiping from the other.... and as a mere male I took the obvious steps in such situations -- I got out as fast as I could... only returning after peace had been restored.
Moving on I come to a few short days before Chris passed on. My daughter Antoinette and I had picked up my grandson Sean from the creche near Chris's house. Sean and Chris took to each other immediately. I don't think I've ever seen Chris look so good. Her skin seemed to glow and there was that old twinkle in her eye, and Antoinette and Chris were soon laughing while exchanging memories that I wasn't invited into.... girl stuff I suppose. After leaving with a promise to be back soon Sean said he loved Chris and wanted to go back again to visit her and her doggie. Sadly that was a promise that couldn't be kept...
The night before Chris passed on she and my other sisters, Ellen and Marie, as well as one of my brothers Paul had a great time together.... for which I am so grateful.... that her last full day was such a happy one. The last picture in the slide show below shows Chris on that day. Marie and Paul are also in the photo.
Chris, I was looking through my photos and found some of you as a little girl... and as a woman.... but always as my little sister.
I miss you so badly no words can describe.... but this little slide show, of all of us that I put together helps.... but just a little.
Now, the slide show dedicated to the little girl with the pageboy haircut.... I love you little sister.... I always have and wish I had told you.... wish so much I had hugged you that last day we met and parted saying I'd see you in a few days..... but I hope you can see into my heart.
Death is nothing at all
I have only slipped away into the next room
I am I and you are you
Whatever we were to each other
That we are still
Call me by my old familiar name
Speak to me in the easy way you always used
Put no difference into your tone
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow
Laugh as we always laughed
At the little jokes we always enjoyed together
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was
Let it be spoken without effort
Without the ghost of a shadow in it
Life means all that it ever meant
It is the same as it ever was
There is absolute unbroken continuity
What is death but a negligible accident?
Why should I be out of mind
Because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you for an interval
Somewhere very near
Just around the corner
All is well.
Nothing is past; nothing is lost
One brief moment and all will be as it was before
How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!
- Jim.
